Friday, September 17, 2004

Emotion roller coaster

Some people look okay during day time... cool, happy, cheerful; When night falls, the person whom you used to know suddenly just becomes emotionally weak, so weak that your heart aches how come he/she will become like that, you want to help so much, but not able to.
There are nights when I feel terribly lousy -- lonely. Want someone close to be around but knowing it is impossible considering the time and distance. And I feel so demotivated and helpless. My mind keeps telling me what I should and should not do; but my heart just acts like the devil pulling every piece of constructive and wise suggestion away from me. Pointing at me and laugh at my weak mind. Ended up I chose to drown myself into the pool of MP3s, and went to bed when I've had enough, and usually it is the repeat of the same song, again and again. Do I feel excellent again in the morning? Most of the time, yes. A little bit sleepy still, maybe because I dreamt at night thus I lack of quality sleep. But I couldn't recall the sweet dreams, only the nightmares....
Who knows a lil' bit of psychology? What is this illness called?
To those who experience the same thing, don't worry you're not the only one. Perhaps mine is not as bad as yours, but at least you're not the only one.
I finally read the books I borrowed. It is always the case where I borrow but never get to read. Lolz. Befriended the books coz you will never know how much you can get from them. Wakakakaka. Well I learned more about Relational Algebra, what do the Predicate, Cartesian Product, Join, Set Different and etc etc mean . Er... the question of whether or not what I know is enough for me to sit for the exam, it is too early to tell hahahaha ! Good luck everyone *wink*
Current mood: I "feel" hardworking
Current music: Tipsy - J-Kwan


Captain Haddock said...

Hi there
What a coincidence, i clicked on 'Next Blog' and i stumbled on the blog of another Malaysian.
Nice blog, keep it up.

Jae said...

thanks for dropping by arvind! ;)

Anonymous said...

wow ... its really scary when the night falls ...


Anonymous said...

TZR - yea can get terrible when the night falls in..but thinking again that someone is somewhere somewhat or somehow is waiting for u..u will feel more better..? GOD has a special way to let u meet ur 'bak ma wong ji' ;)

Jae said...

TZR: maybe am not really keen on wanting a "white horse prince".. happy as how i am now. Mebbe just want a companion, even a close friend will do. Coz what more can I expect when all of you so "guan sam" me :D *wink*..

Dan: Dont be afraid babe, it comes and it goes. Just dont let it eats your heart out.

Anonymous said...

Reading your blog sounds like reading my own life.. haha
But I bet we will able to get over it. The pressure of haivng assignments maybe be a factor to it too. Since the assignment submittion period is over, just get some time off & rest.
Enjoy your redbox session tomolo! hehe
I'm sure their are a lot of friends around you that cares. ;)