.: Merry merry Christmas, Lonely lonely Christmas? :.

This song has been in my head on the day of Christmas eve. It's by Eason Chan, right?

I spent the eve with family. We will celebrate Christmas eve together every year. Been telling them to spare the night for dining out. So they did. We went to Mid Valley, was thinking to dine at the Chillies, but when we reached there, we gotta wait for an hour coz the queue was just too long. Never mind, thought of trying something new, so we went to San Francisco Steak House. The surrounding is really not bad. We couldn't escape from the queue, though. Even if you had reserved table, you still gotta wait for your turn. I was kinda syiok looking at those couples who thought they own the world with reservation name, pif, Queue please mister. The food is fine, the environment is nice. We enjoyed it together.

And I spent my eve alone at home, sitting at my desk, working on the translation jobs that I got (so to earn couple extra bucks) while listening to my favourite music. Didnt feel bad or whatsoever, I prefer a silent night for the eve, and to the count down. I sent out wishes to friends, and I got the most valuable one at 12midnight sharp. And know what, from the party pack, I decorate my doggie doll with a raindeer hairband and party mask, and I put on Santa hat myself. Haha trying to have some feel of Christmas (though we are not Christians). Maybe when I'm affordable next time, I will buy a Christmas Tree and decorate it for Christmas. Hehe. Whoever that went out to rave the night, had fun? Hehe Bet you all did. *smile*

And on Christmas, nothing's really special, except I had a good game playing RO in the evening. It's War Of Emperium and seemed like everyone didnt really celebrate Christmas(no life?!?! lolz), a lot of guild members were online and so we went for the war. Nice game! Had a fun time. Hopefully there's more fun coming in!

New year is coming !! Time flies eh... so fast it's 2005 soon(getting' a year elder, again! >.<"") I wish everyone a Happy 2005, may you fulfill all your new year resolution, and hope next year is a good year! CHEERS!!

All the ladies !!!! hehehe..
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Koh Sing and I. She drove me to the hotel that night. Hehe, She's a great friend !
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All my ex-collegues.. Hehe Guys from left:Ling Howe, Kenneth, Jin Jun; Girls from left:Hui Cher, me, Koh Sing, Mei Lan(bride's maid)
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The 2nd gown of the night.. .. nice nice ..
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This is the bride ... BEAUTIFUL leh !!!!!
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in my friend, Jennifer & Shaun's wedding night, I helped out at the entrance hehe, beside me is Sook Fei, Jenn's friend.
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.: Confession :.

Alright, promise will write a confession so here I begin. ( I hope I can be honest for all the things I said lolz)

~**My Love... that faded**~

Started from the beginning when I saved and saved money for a trip to Australia. It was my first oversea trip that I went myself. Excited, anxious, happy(coz I got to see the one I missed for months).. and I love the new experiences I had while staying there for a month. Sydney, a beautiful city and the places I'd been to -- natural beauty. Something is gained something is lost. I lost the love I had when I'm back. Maybe I dont love him enough. Maybe I'd changed. Distance relationship is never easy, but maybe like I said, I dont love him enough. So I cant bare with the difficulties. I have a very bad habit --- wouldn't say it's bad or good, maybe in different context, it's bad, but it's also good that I can do it: I'm very good in letting something's gone, be gone. I'm sorry for the hurts I've created for him. I wish he'll have a happier life and lately I heard that he's been doing good in both study and business. All the best to him.

~**My Friends... that hooked with cable wire**~

Been clinged myself to an online game since March. ( wow, so it's been 9 months I've been playing it ). I got to know friends who are funny, friendly, and we even become real life friends. I'm glad I can have friends like them. Dont underestimate their knowledge in the game, I got lots to learn from them. Haha. Why I love the game so much? It's just a game anyway. Well, it's online, so there are many players. Players play their characters in the game, directly reflecting their own attitude and characteristics. This is what I learn. There are scammers, not only scamming uber items or zenies(money in the game), but also maybe scamming hearts in the game. But, I'm glad the friends I know are all truthful, genuine, and worth to be called friends. And friends who are in Brunei, wow God knows if not because of the game would I ever know anyone from Brunei? The chance is thin, yeap. I'm lucky enough to know them, and may our friendship continues to blossom.

~**My Friends ... that are surrounding me**~

What can I say about the friends I have. Always I think I'm lucky. I dont have MANY friends but the ones I have, they love me. I try my best not to disappoint any friends, but if I did and I wasn't been told, I'm sincerely sorry, please forgive me. I wouldn't want to hurt you, but if I did, I didn't mean it. I'd talked craps, I'd shown faces, I'd shown temper, I'm glad you all are still there when I need y'all. I very wish to withhold you all until I breathe my last breath. To all my friends, Thank you for the friendship. I'll cherish them. And hope you all are happy to know me. *hugz*

~**My study ... my responsiblity**~

Next year is my last year of studying. Soon I'll be graduating with a degree. I must confess that I'm a lazy bone. I know what I should do, and I know I can do better if I'm more hardworking. I guess the new year wish should enclose with this -- hardworking. This year so far, I've been doing okay in studies. Scored with a satisfying result, made my parents proud. The feeling is great. Always have the bad habit of studying in the last minute. Should have changed this attitude. *hehe, say is always the easiest*

~**My Life ... should I hope for a better one?**~

Life is a treasure -- be alive when you ARE alive. My headshot. Been saying Life is Beautiful, so live to the fullest. I'm doing my very best for that. Treasure everyday, but it seems like I take everyday for granted. I'm lucky enough to have what I have now. I should be grateful. I have what I love, I am at where I'm most protected. There is really nothing more to complain. I should plan my future, though. Right now it's all plain. I don't know where to head to. After finish studying, it's time to really learn what life is, I guess. Responsibilities come. And pressure comes with responsibilities. Running away or avoiding it will do nothing better I think. So face it, bold to carry it, and resolve it, and I'll have more to complain at that time, haha!

wait a minute, am I doing confession for all this while? Er.. please tell me if this ain't a piece of confession. I just write what's on my mind. And now I don't know how to close it with a good ending. *stupid!* I guess .... just say bye?

~**Bye**~

.: Flu....... :.

Yeah it's still with me. Better I guess. I think the Vitamin C Plus that I took really does help? The day I knew I had flu, I had the hardest time sleeping at night. The next day, I took Vitamin C Plus and yeah it helped. Feel much better. Thanks zoe, Joo and chao learn for your concern. :)

Current music: Rain drops
Current mood: bored

And... tada ~~~!!! This is after. Cute? Hehehe I'm in pink dress. Nice !!!
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This is ... before I change job to High Priestess. CrimsonLiang was beside me hehehe. Looks cool in the cowboy hat eh?
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Christmas in Geffen city. Nice, Big Christmas tree. hehe Merry Christmas everyone !!
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.: I hate flu :.

.... got flu. I guess that explains why I couldnt sleep soundly last night. I think I'm gonna fall asleep in the class later on... *sigh* Hate it !!! >.< !!

And my throat is acting up !!! >.< !!! argh !!! herbal tea... need herbal tea....

OH! another thing, my friend Haw Feng recommended me a link : Tokyoplastic Go visit !!! It's cool !!!! Very impressive and it's amazing !!! Thanks feng *heehee*

.: Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse. The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love :.

I quoted the words from the wedding invitation card. Sweet isn't it ? Congratulations to the newly weds - Jennifer and Sheon. 12 Dec 2004 is their wedding day. I'm honored to be selected to be the bride's "ji mui", so I went over to the bride's house to help out yesterday morning. The good time was set it in a way that they have to reach to the groom's house before 9am, so the groom and his brothers came to the bride's house at 7.30am. Early eh? So you got an idea what time I gotta wake up. You bet, 6++am ! And I didnt take anything when I was there although Jenn's mom prepared some breakfast for us.

Of course the groom and brothers couldn't enter the house and get the bride so easily. They were tricked. We as sisters had actually planned games to trick the guys, however, sadly to say, the active ones were just a few, I had no idea why some could give ideas and made themselves seem so sporting and active but at the end of the day, they just sat there looking as if this is none of their business. I played, but the guys were too many and their voice were much bigger than us! So, well, didnt play much. Jenn was looking fabulous in her white gown. So elegant. And Sheon, wahaha yeah he was handsome in his suit. So they got up the car after tea & angpow session. I followed an ex-colleague's car to the groom's house in Sentul. We arrived there before 9am, so.. cool, we didnt miss the good time.

So it's groom's family side for the tea & angpow session now. It was my first time visiting their new house. It's cozy, very comfortable and windy, at 7th-floor condo unit. After all that, there was a catered brunch for us at 10++am so okay.. my first bites of the day. Then, chit-chatted with the ex-colleagues about their speech on the wedding dinner and I went home with my mom after that. We arrived home around 12 noon and I just couldn't stand anymore, I dived into my bed and just slept for 3 hours straight down. Haha!

Okay, after a sleep I tried to get some bites and hung out for a while before I prepared again for the wedding dinner. So showered, dressed up, made up and there I was ready for the night. My friend Koh Sing came to pick me up around 6.30pm and we headed to Pearl Point ballroom. Was given task for guests registration and angpow collection. So we didnt get to sit down at the table until at least 90% of the guests arrived. The dinner started around 8.15pm. There was a simple ceremony before the dinner began. First, there were 4 flower girls and boys walking to the stage on the isle. They were just so cute and lovely. The bride's maids were right behind them. Beautiful ladies! Then we could see the bride was accompanied by her father, walking to the stage while the groom and bestman were waiting on the stage. She was passed to the groom by her father. Touching scene and it got more touching when all these were accompanied with romantic music. The coupld exchanged vows after that, and the dinner began. Koh Sing and I had to leave the table after the first dish to count the angpow money. So we didnt get to eat much.

The dinner was empty if there wasn't any game for the couple. Haha so the colleagues suggested that we all do a toast ( the ever famous "yum seng" session) and requested the couple to French Kiss when it starts "yum" and only stop when we shouted "seng"! What do you think, of course it was the longest "yum" ever ! Mic was passed from 1 to another to continue the "yum". hahaha! It was pretty fun. The couple were sporting.

Okay, the dinner ended around 10 ++? or 11 ++? I couldn't remember. I took lots of pics with my ex-colleagues and was happy to see them again. Koh Sing sent me home after that. So well, since my eating schedule was all messed up yesterday so I had gastric when I took my first sip of Coke last night after I went back to the table after angpow counting. It already happened so no matter what I took later, it only added on to the pain. But I did eat. I just slept after I went home coz was tired, didnt care much about the pain.

A long entry, yup. Hope didnt make your eyes pain hahaha ! I'm better today. A new week again, have a nice week guys, n gals. *smile*

Current mood: .....feel okay
Current music: erm... ads on Hitz.fm

.: Preparation for a Confession? :.

Seeing my pal, Derrick wrote a summary of year 2004 made me have a feeling of making one too, well, will take time to make one before 2005. Glad to read his entry. It's true Derrick, you lose something and you gain something, this logic never changes. And when we grow, there are things we need to sacrifice for its loss, compromise for its balance or work harder to get the fruit. I'm glad you experienced things and you learned from them. ;) Way to go, buddy! And of course, though I might not be the best person for you to talk to sometimes, I'm always here if you wanna talk anything with me. Hehe.

And well, talking about things that is unforgettable before 2005, I bit my tongue 2 days back, it bleeded, it hurt like ....... I couldnt even scream the pain out and it's still a bit pain now! *pif*! But soon it'll be alright hehe.

.: I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas :.

I love Christmas since small, though I'm not a Christian.

Santa Claus (main point for then), Christmas Tree (lots of presents underneath the tree--2nd top reason wahahahha), cookies (Ginger-man is CUTE!!), songs (It just gives you the feel of .... Christmas *stupid*), and .... kiss underneath the mistletoe... (hmm.. romantic)

I still remember my parents used to pretend to be Santa Claus... NO JOKE! I got a brand new Barbie doll as my Xmas present when I was small. They even told my bro and I to hang pillow case ( no HUGE and RED socks , that's why.. and PILLOW CASE is BIG ENOUGH. *haha!*) at our bed. We were even looking out to the window to see if we could see Santa flying by on his sleigh and deers and wondering, how could Santa come in while we had fenced our window and we didn't even have a chimney!!! And what do you know, in the next morning, whualah~~ presents in the pillow case. And there goes we hopped and yelled and broke into my parent's room, jumping on their bed telling them "There is Santa Claus!!! There is Santa Claus ! See what I've got? How did he know I like Barbie?? How did he come in?!" And my folks were just smiling. ( These 2 kids are just too easy to cheat...... )

I think that's something nice, don't you think? A little bit of something to make your kids happy all day, of course you can't stop them from telling their friends what did Santa give them. And all the "oooooo!!! aaaaaa!!!" yeah , yeah... Maybe next time I'll do the same to my kids too. And there goes the song "I saw mummy kissing Santa Claus" ... *lolz*

What you wish for Christmas? I always love to spend it with family and love one. Well it could be a wild crazy night out with friends on Christmas Eve.. but always, I will call and wish my folks Merry Christmas when it's 12 midnight. If it's not with friends, it'd be a warm dinner with my family and I would buy them little Christmas gifts, and listen to Christmas songs at home till I'm ready for bed. Nice. Cozy. And then......... ready for the new year celebration. Hehe.

If you love someone, use this chance, tell or show them how much you love them. Make it special. Make it worth a life time to remember.

my reborn pic !! and this is ..... AFTER !! bwahahahaha !!!  

My reborn pic !! mwahahaha This is BEFORE ....  

Daniel and I .. he always so like to take photo, but he is photogenic ain't he? hehe 

Zoe, me and SoonFeei in cafeteria, co-incidently we were wearing red top.. haha Feels liks CNY!! 

This is my babe, Zoe and I, taken in the class 

.: Something to Proud of :.

my Mama n' Papa, I'm glad I can make you feel proud !!!! (n' myself, keke)

Didn't expect to see my result like that.. Hmm... *GRRRRIIINNNNNN*

Got two 1stClass and one 2nd Upper.. =D

Congratz to fellow coursemates too to view the result today, no matter how well or how bad you did, You'd Done Your Best ( and that's worth to congrat!!!)

.: Just another day :.

Yesterday went to karaoke with Zoe, Wendy and Wendy's friend, Chai Yun. Four of us sang our lungs out for 3 hours... Felt not enough eventhough voice was a bit sore. Haha. Anywayz it was great, been locked in the working room for so long and couldn't vent any frustration and pressure, yesterday was the time.

After that as the HDD of my old baby is condemn I need to get a new HDD for her. So, went over LowYat to buy a new 80GB HDD. Went home happily and installed it after shower. Well, only then I found out she wasn't merely have long term memory sickness; her "brain system" is damaged as well ( suspect is Motherboard died). *man.....!* And I was lucky enough to have a friend to guide me even only on MSN, of how to test everything and tell him what was the findings. He was really helpful. Thousand apologies to Daniel coz I kept asking him questions and telling him my frustration and making him feel bad coz I know he was having a hard time to try to comfort me !!! *lolz* But thanks for the song, babe.

Okay.. well, gotta take that for a repair. And I REALLY need a haircut. So, today's just gonna be another day... Oh yeah, there is some homework I need to do. Ciaoz guys n' girls.

Current mood: a bit down
Current music: Nina Sky - Move Your Body.... on Hitz.fm

.: That's it?? :.

So... so much of crying like a child about my midpoint, it's officially ended at 10.30am today. 30 minutes of presentation to determine the marks I deserve out of 20marks. Fair?? Guess what, I still couldn't get to meet with my assesor. He is on MC today. Replacing him is a Malay lady ( a lecturer too ) .. er.. I forgot to look at her tag so I have no idea who she is. But she seems nice and friendly. She gave me comments --- I think they concluded to be that my academic research is not strong enough.. Hmm... more hard work need to be done from now on.

Not feeling very satisfied but ... well let's face the truth, I did it in the past 5 days. If I can pass it I should be thankful. Not to say I only started to do my work in the 5 days I had, just I didnt have enough before this, so well the continuos hard work of 5 days, cant really get you far I guess. Fair enough. Congratz to Zoe, KingKo and myself, we passed it. Now, all the best to Wendy, Daniel, Ted, YinChew, SoonFeei, Christene, ChaoLearn, Yoong, and Shivani.

Feeling sleepy.. and .... a bit relief. The nerv I had was still with me eventhough I walked out from Presentation Room just now. So we went for breakfast in cafeteria with Zoe and KingKo, chatted a little bit, and then Zoe and I took off. She didnt sleep for the night before and she's gonna skip the class today. Me, went back home to do the housechores as mom's not in... and now... hmm... Empty headed.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." -- Mouline Rouge

Current mood: light
Current music: Numb/Encore -- LP feat. Jay Z .. on Hitz.fm

.: It's not supposed to feel this way :.

Mixed up mind leads to a mixed up mood, I guess. Tomorrow is the day I'm gonna present my midpoint report. I guess I'm done? I don't know what my assesor is gonna say to me, I've never even met him before ! Darn this feeling sucks to the max. I am worried. Yeah.... *sigh*

Have I seen it too big?? What's wrong if I saw it too big?? It's important ain't it? Am I acting too hysterical? I think I'm losing my insanity, and my head hurts ! Headache ... never leaves me alone when it's the time I need to be calm and prepare myself mentally and emotionally. . .. Maybe .. I should go to sleep ...

Can I have a hug, maybe 2?

Current mood: mixed up
Current music: Fish Leong - Chun Zhen

.: I dont know what my life's up to :.

Been very lazy lately. Knowing I have a long list of things that I need to do - midpoint interim report, homework of the 2 subjects that I'm studying this semester......Well, come to count it, these 2 are the most important now and are my responsibility to do them well. BUT, why ain't I working my ass off for that? Told ya', am lazy.

AND.... went clubbing at Atmosphere the last Saturday to celebrate a belated birthday for a friend named Kwong and another named "Water fish". My first time there and I think, it's just okay for me. Don't really like it VERY much. However, a place where you can see hip hop chaps ( dress like one ) dancing shuffle on the dance pool, or just at the tables. Admire them. *yoohoo* And erm, sure there were people who K.O.ed by friend, or ...... by themselves. Lolz. The 2 birthday boys certainly didnt escape, "Waterfish" was the most terrible one, he couldnt even put his head up afterwards. Well I dont know, his head was forever on the table even we went "yum cha" after that. I didnt drink much.. very sober...hmm.. or should I drink? *hehe*

Oh yeah, bought myself color contact lenses. Currently wearing Pure Hazel. I wonder if my eyeballs are just too dark or the color isn't obvious? Hahahaha Zoe said I should get a lighter color, like Honey. But nah, it's still okay for me.. hehe. It felt weird at first coz... I've never seen my eyes in brown color before? (stupid)

Current mood: pulse normal, head straight.... oops... stomachache
Current music: Bryan Mcfadden - Real To Me

.: A trip to Penang :.

Went to Penang for the past 2 days to attend my cousin brother's wedding. It's nice coz every relatives were there and I got to meet with my cousins. I wouldn't know how much I miss them until I saw them. Lolz.

Met with my beloved cuz sis, Angie who is now working in Singapore ( really seldom to see her now ). She even brought along her boyfriend whom we've never met. His name is Stephen. Wahahaha she was sure annoyed by our questions : when did you meet him? how did you two start? bla bla .... *wink* But, I can see that she's loved and happy. Man, she gained weight !! She used to be very thin, all the mothers were kinda worried how come she won't grow any meat! Lolz, well, it's certainly different if you're in love, anyone disagrees?

Penang --- besides food, I still only can think about food. Hahaha oh loh mee, hokkien mee, char kuey teow, laksa, yam cake, etc I sure miss you all very much !!! hahahaha! My dad even ate 2 bowls/plates of food every meal coz the portion of the food is small, and it's cheap!!

And about my cousin brother, the groom. He is sure funny. We're all very happy seeing him getting married. And his wife is an angel. Very pretty. Of course we were the ones who made the scene to be merry!! I can still remember during the wedding dinner in Grand Plaza Park Royal Hotel, our dads were waiting for us to start the "yum seng" session. All the peer cousins were seated in 1 table so we were crazy shouting our lungs out for "yum seng" while holding our glass of red wine! We even did it before the ceremony, lolz. And then, after we started it, it's our dads' turn !!!! Whoa they shouted even louder and longer !! haha! The most funniest thing was that they looked at us after they "yum seng" as if they were challenging us! After 2-3 rounds, our "yum seng" had turned into "yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm cha!" ( chinese tea ) coz we knew it wasn't gonna be an end if we continued like that. We really were holding our cup of tea and cheers it. Hahahhaa! Funny. Of course we got the boos from them, who cares ?? Eh, who's gonna drive when our dads K.O. from drinking? US ! lolz. Man, their faces were as red as apple !!! But yeah, we sure had a good time and I bet the groom was pleased coz the entire ballroom was so quiet. Hmm not complaining about the romantinc songs, though. hehehe. One thing about hotel ballroom, it was freezingly cold so drinking wine warmed me abit as I was wearing a thin piece of dress.

Hmm... ok, had a crazy time and it's time to back to my serious working. I wrote a lot eh ? hahaha. Was kinda tired out of no reason. I slept all the way to Penang and all the way back to KL, listening to my favourite songs which I chose and burn it out in a CD. Of course "My Boo" by Usher and Alicia Keys is included! Love that song. *boo hoo hoo*

Current mood: happy
Current music: F.I.R -- Wo Men De Ai

.: Boring Monday, as usual :.

Hi hi... hmm sitting in the lab now with Daniel, waiting for 2 other members to arrive coz we're supposed to hand in Assignment Proposal Form for the lec to see today... and.... obviously we're not done else I wont be sitting here, feeling anxious. Lolz. I just realised last night around 11++pm that we need to hand in today. *swt big time*

Went over to my aunt's place to have dinner last night. Hmm Not much of dishes ( lolz ) but they are special. Ever eaten smoked duck? HMm it taste nice, salty with smoked scent, nice to eat with white rice alone mwahahaha... And match with hot soup... hehehe. It feels nice to have dinner with family and relatives ( those who used to have meals alone.. try it sometimes ya ! ) . Last time we were prohibited by parents to not talking while eating, but I guess this old-fashioned, outdated manner is out because it just feels nice to chat, joke and laugh, a lil' catch up with relatives.... She's my youngest and my beloved aunt ( ppl used to say we look like sisters last time lolz, she sure has baby face ). Her new born baby girl was comfortably lying on her bed doozing away hehe. Cute, such a small, fragile and lovely baby girl. I guess she's gonna be a princess hehehe. Can't wait for her to grow. ^^

Life is nothing much.. guess gotta find some excitement for myself.... Attend class, feeling panic for my FYP, stay at home, hook up Internet and MSN, and gaming everynight; movie, clubbing, yam cha once in a while ... man... doesn't fit much of my phylosophy of "Living life to the fullest". lolz. Anywayz, keep in touch with my boring life by dropping by once a while :) Might have some surprises sometimes. Mostly are boring... hahaha ciaoz !

Current mood: hmm...nothing much
Current music : None

.: Weird at first but it turned out to be fun :.

Attended to a friend's birthday party juz now-- Kenny's 21st Birthday party y'all !!! He juz told me 2 nights ago so, thousand apologies that I couldn't make it to buy present for you, Kenny. Hope you don't mind ya ? *wink*

Daniel and I reached there around 9pm ( I think ). There were only 2 of us as APIITian representatives (LOLX!!!). Took our late dinner and chatted many things. Oh nearly forgot, Steven aka Blur was there too. He is still THAT skinny !!! So envy !!! But erm, if can, try to eat more Steven. You're way too skinny!!

Can see that he sure had enjoyed his night. His family members and friends are all very sporting and funny. Talked and laughed loudly, made me had a feeling of making a birthday party next year, hehe. It felt warm, you know. Dan and I laughed at their talkings and acts, very fun and joyful.

Been to Hardrock Cafe as I mentioned few days back. 4 of us: Daniel, Zoe, Wendy and I ordered 3 dishes. They tasted marvellous but shameless to say, 4 of us couldn't even finish 3 dishes. The portion was huge. Can't blame us as none of us is a big eater. hee hee. We ate, talked and laughed so loud, mostly were over stupid things that we said. haha!! If you want a quiet environment in Hardrock Cafe, go at daytime ( after 11.30am ). There are no one else ( well, 2-3 people lar ) except your table of you and your friends. However, of course it would be better to enjoy the band and crowd at night. Different time will have different pleasure *wink*

Rainy days lately. Nice to sleep, lazy to work. HAHA! Anywayz, to all my coursemates, keep it up for your FYP. Gam-ba-teh! We can do it ! Good luck to especially Dan, Wendy, Zoe, Ted, Chew, Soon Feei, KingKo, Francis, Christene and etc. See you guys on Monday. ;)

Current mood: Kinda sleepy
Current music: Fish Leong - Jie Shou

.: What have I done to deserve this? :.

Oh don't get too over-reacted when you see the title, it's not something bad. In fact, it's something great that I've never thought I would have it.

Been troubled by FYP as I need to do fact finding including interview and observation, I chose HardRock Cafe coz I've approached it and I was given warm welcome by the respondent. So I need to go there personally, sit down without revealing who I am and observe. I can't do it alone -- well I can but it makes me look stupid to sit there alone with my eyes opened wide and look around (sure looks like an alien! lolx). So I need a few companies and I asked friends. I asked Daniel babe, Wendy babe and Zoe babe -- I understand everyone is having financial problem though it's only the start of the month. So I understand if they're unable to make it for me. But, there's nothing much I can say, they decided to accompany me and it's today. When Wendy told me about it, I feel so touched and ... speechless for what they do for me. Am I blessed or what?!?!? I can't thank them enough coz this is something important for me. You guys are just GREAT. Love you all !! Mwahz mwahz mwahz !!! *hugz hugz*

Hmm.... sometimes blogging doesn't really mean you can post whatever you wanna post. Sometimes somethings just meant to be kept inside of myself. :) However, just wanna say there is something sweet happening in my life now, though I can't tell when it'll come to an end. Don't ask me what it is as I will never tell you. ( something for myself, remember ? *wink* ) For everyone who cares about me, I'm happy and .... I know what I'm doing, dont worry. :)

So I'll stop here. Talk more in the next entry. ciaoz !

Current mood: Greatful
Current music: Dont know what song is playing in My fm now.

.: Wish you guys live happily ever after :.

Attended my cousin's brother wedding dinner last night in Melacca. Hmm my cousin sista-in-law was sure looking marvelous and so pretty -- the princess of the night. They are great together, no doubt about it :) So happy for my cuz bro. So this is a short tribute to you both -- I wish you both to live happily ever after *wink* ~~ Love is in the air ~~

.: Does devil exist? :.

Not pointing at any religion while writing this entry, merely a simple question that popped up in my head thinking does devil really exist? Well went for a movie at Sunway Pyramid last night and you bet, it's "The Beginning of Exorcist". The movie was alright, though others said it's disappointing coz sound system is kinda lousy and the story is slow...

I watched "The Exorcist" many years ago. I was quite small and what I remember is that the bed is shaking extremely fiercely and the girl asked for help from her mom. And also that her head can make a 360 degree turn. Hah, also the greenish and slimy thing she puke onto the priests in the movie. Yuckie. It makes ppl to think whether this devil really exist and HE only took advantage on weak souls, take over their body and mess the world up? Compare with Eastern exorcism, the Western exorcism that the priests perform .. I dont know how to say it, but the power of the bible and holy water are .... amazing. Hmmm... I wouldn't find the movie boring coz wow the make-up is really successful, I felt gross and "geli" and frightened by the look of the possessed one. And ehem, yeah I did struggle abit when going to bed last night. A bit-lar, not much hahaha!! *I'm kinda a chicken when comes to horror movie, yet I like to watch!*

There were a few friends I went with: Daniel, Isobel, Yin Chew, Beh, Soon Feei, Yoong and Kwong. Kwong is sick so, take care ya. We went to Gazebo (hope I spell it right) to have a drink after the movie, heck the fruit juice is merely a small size glass and it costs RM4 each !!! Before that we went to SS14 to have "bak kut teh" as dinner. It is not bad but the soup is kinda thick and we felt thirsty after eating it... too much of Ajinomoto? Lolz.

Alrigtie, stop here. Gotta continue with all the diagram drawing.. grrrrrrr !

Current mood: bored
Current music: Listening to MY fm now.

.: Stressful :.

Knowing that I need to do something for my FYP, knowing that if I don't start it's gonna be too late for me, knowing that I need piles of workload to get my project done....... Well, still feeling lazy and that sure ain't good, AT ALL. My confession ain't doing me any better, guess it's serious time now.

These few days been feeling troubled, down, stressful and worried. The combination of these 4 feelings is driving me nuts and pushing me to the edge. On top of that, PFI subject is unmercifully pressing me to put MORE effort in order to follow the lecturer's footstep. He teaches fast -- and demanding. Good to have lecturer like that coz he's sure a serious jerk, however directly he is also giving us pressure, which I think I'd forgotten abt ( coz been behaving slumber nowadays ). Well, ain't gonna let it beat me down. Gambateh ~~!! I can do it !

Henzz's private server is closing down. Feeling heavy to see it ends that way but it gives him lotsta pressure and conflict, which indirectly affecting everyone while playing the game. Maybe it's terminated for good. I bet everyone is welcoming him back to Loki. The extremely crazy get away is ended soon. :)

Called up Hardrock Ccafe to do some fact finding for my FYP. Well all i can say is that it's been okay all the while though I havent really got the chance to ask my questionnaires. At least I'm not fed with "lemon" when I called ! They have very nice and warm attitude. Thumbs up for Hardrock Cafe!

Alright, stop here. Thanks for everyone who dropped by and read my boring stuff. LOLx. Miss everyone. :)

Current mood: stress
Current music: a song by S.H.E

.: A Big Surprise :.

The title has really brought out the feeling from me -- I got a very big surprise last night meeting with my another RO pal from Penang -- her name is Joo. I've been expecting her to come to meet us, but didnt expect she brought a few more friends, whom I thought I'd never meet them, at least not in these few years.

She told me she's coming to KL this weekend and so I thought we should meet up to see each other. She came down from Penang purposely -- I thought she had business meeting so she came to KL. The truth is that she is meeting up a few more friends here, and wanted to give me a surprise. Leztat -- a long lost friend in RO whom I thought we have lesser and lesser contact, but still I care about this friend very much, appeared in front of me and I had no idea who he was until he said :"I"m from Melbourne". I got a shock of my life when Joo looked at me and tell me "he's leztat". "WHAT?!?!?!" was the only response I made. And the surprise didn't just stop there, then she told me another 2 friends are Ayu and YoshiX. "Oh my god!" for that moment I lost my sense and the only word I could speak out was "Oh my god!". I couldn't express much the way I felt -- it's a very very warm, happy and surprise feeling. Leztat, you told me you like surprises and you like to give one, you'd made it mate. LOLX! Till now I still can't believe I would have the chance to meet you. But yeah it felt nice, really nice.

Ayu -- a friend in RO who I always take her as sista --- turns out to be a guy in person. HAHA ! Well can't really blame him as he's using his gf's account all the time. And he really could make himself a girl in the game !!! OR I'm too easy to cheat ? I even talked with him in MSN about dieting, shopping etc all the girlie stuffs ! lolx ! [ why I always got bluffed?!?! ] This is crazy. He's kinda quiet in person, doesn't talk much. And he's sure a good looking guy. YoshiX -- Another cool pal whom I met latter and never got the chance to really become friend, even in the game. He talks a lot in the game but very quiet too in real life. Wonder if he's too shy or ? hehe.

To the three of you - Lez(Chi chi ), Ayu(Eric) and YoshiX(HK), I'm really happy to meet with you all. Words can't stress enough of how I feel. I hope we'll see each other again. Chi chi, all the best in your working and hope life is gonna treat you well, enjoy the reunion with henzz, stitch, jean, angugu and tailo ya ! Eric (Ayu) and HK (YoshiX) -- All the best in studying! And see you all in MSN ( lolz that's the easiest way to keep in touch!)

There were others who came too: DD, Liang, Fook and Teong, we should keep in touch and come out yam cha once in a while. Nice seeing you all again *wink*

Current mood: Undescribable.... nice
Current music: None

.: Holiday Ended :.

Like a flash of lighting, my holiday is gonna end soon. And what welcomes me is another semester -- which I dont know how hard it's gonna be, but I know my FYP is gonna chase me like ..... well i know i'm gonna work my a$$ off at it. *gam ba teh ~~ *

Other than worrying abt academic stuff, for the past few das, I've been busy bringing a friend from Brunei to have a tour around KL. Henzz is his name. We got to know each other in game and it's so lucky to have him come visit to KL and meet with other members of the same guild in the game. He was extremely happy and i know he enjoyed the trip very much. We brought him to clubbing, seafood dinner in Klang, birthday celebration in "Ming Tin" of PJ, shopping in Bukit Bintang and shopping + movie in Mid Valley. Besides eat, still eat. *lolz* I brought him for the ever famous pork noodle in OUG and taste the excellent "yin yong"; and I brought him for Cheesy baked rice in Kim Gary ( which is really the first experience for him to eat such food ) and etc. Honestly, talk about food, you ain't got enough of them Henzz. Merely a few days of stay ( not even a week! ), you can't taste KL food enough. My brother and I gave Henzz a souvenir -- a cute and classy photo frame that contained the photo of us who met up. It's supposed to be a surprise and I am so glad that it turned out just as it's supposed to be. I'm glad that you like it. Feeling so touched eh ? *lolz* So, pick a time, come again. You're always welcomed. For the friends who're in Brunei, come to KL to meet with us too. It'd be a great memory for all of us. *wink*

Besides that, we met with other gamers: DD, Liang, MeiQu and Sundaygirl. They are a bunch of friendly, easy-going, kind, helpful, caring and ... they're just great ! Nice meeting you all. And we shall come out yam cha sometimes.

Mom made banana cake few days back. For some friends who'd tasted her baking skill, still remember the scent of the banana cake and how it taste in your mouth? ( I bet you all MISS IT SO MUCH!!! ) I can't deny her cooking skill -- it's always excellent and I know I've no chance to beat her when comes to cooking ( nah! no need to start. I'm ALREADY a loser !! *lolz* ) I salute my mom for that -- she's always great. Love ya babe *wink*

Alright, should "tidy up" my mental and be prepared for new semester. I know I've got lots of catch up for FYP. Good luck to all my friends. See you all on Monday ;)

Current mood: ..... nothing special
Current music: none.

.: Big Day :.

2nd paper was tough. Maybe I wasn't prepared enough. Didnt feel good for doing it bad --- but it is useless to feel regret now. I hope I could pass the paper. .. *sigh*

Well, went for a hair cut in the afternoon. Spent almost 6 hours there. *WOW!!!!* yeah coz in the middle of my session my aunt has other customers so I gotta wait. I fell asleep waiting... Kinda embarassed but since I was at my aunt's house, who cares. But well, worth it though, I re-straighten my hair ( I think I look best in straight and short hair, haizzzzz ) and trim it. At least look more tidier now.

Been to Station One later of the night to meet with a long-time-no-see friend, Dennis. My fellas and babes: Daniel, Elljay, Ted, Edmond and Jezz were there too. Dennis still looks the same - charming, talkative, happy and a lot more fitter!! *wee~~* haha He's at his hometown all the time since we completed the 2nd year of our course. Chatted a lot and took LOTS of pics!! Dennis, remember to send the pics to me ya !! Glad to know that you'll be joining APIIT in next Feb, meanwhile, take good care and keep in touch!!!

And about my title today --- Remember I told you guys that I am playing an online game - Ragnarok Online? Well last night -- this morning to be precise, on 7th Oct 2004, 2am, I made it to 99level, and yes I am glowing now with the aura under my feet. Feel so good. I was very excited when I still had 0.1% to reach 100%. The feeling was undescribable and I am so glad that I made it with my friends with me -- the most important person, My brother ( I was there for him too while it was his turn to become 99level that time ), my close pals: Joo and Henzz. My guild fella, waitwait was also there at that time. My brother even went to bed late because wanted to see my glowing. ^^ hehehehe. That's one of the fun moments of this game I guess. It wouldn't be the same if he wasn't there.

Alright, 2 papers are done and now left the last paper: DBMS. Study hard mates. Good luck!

Current mood : happy
Current music : None

.: First paper :.

Today I sat for the first paper of my first semester exam of 3rd year study: HCI. 4 essay type of questions in 2 hours -- honestly it wasn't enough. I guess for every sentence that we provided it should be SOLID FACT and there should be supportive examples or arguments to support it. It was kinda hard and for the first time I really hoped that I had more time. For the first time I really felt that I was in a battlefield and all I did was just reloading my bullets and shoot until the very last sec. "Chi-kek" ~! I hope I did it well. * keep my fingers crossed*

Besides this there is another thing that made my day. We got our HCI project result today and congratz to Daniel, Wendy, Ted, Leela and Ahmed, we got an "A" for our project. Thanks for all the hardwork. Worth it eh? And congratz to myself as I got an "A" for my individual research paper * wee~~!!! *. Congratz to Dan too as he also got an "A" for his research paper. Keep up the good work babe!

Alright, keep this short. Gotta back to study.

Current mood : Tensed
Current music : Where Is The Love -- Black Eyed Peas

I'm Happy

Haven't been updating my blog for such a long time till my friends were asking me to do it -- lolz, thanks babe. I guess it is a little bit weird as everyone is working their asses off for the exam tomorrow, am here typing away spending my pleasure, haha! Gotta take a break so to walk a further distance later *wink*

Been "addicted" to a game since 6 months back- Ragnarok Online, in case anyone of you who doesn't know, it is an online game which you create your character, kill monsters and gain levels. I'm close to become the max level of a character -- 99lvl. Shamely to say that I'm "auto-piloting" my character as I dont have time to play it by hand, and as the game is required player to PAY, say me cheap-skate--- I just can't let it keep its state idle for so long!!! LOLZ! Aside of all the excitements, I got to know bunch of friends who're local and from neighbour country: Joo(Penang), Alex (Joo's hubby in RO *wink*), Brunei fellas: Henzz aka [K]oumi, Anjo aka Angugu, Hawz aka ArcherKnight, Siong aka Stitch, Jean aka deviljean, Jiunn aka tailo (hope I got the names correct =P), also a few of long-lost friends like Lez, Ayu, Yoshi, Gao, jaee, and bunch of my guild fellas(mostly local) : DarkDevil aka dd, Liang aka crimsonliang, waitwait, sundaygirl, MeiQu, Elvo, LiangLiang, AvrilLavigne, kcboy, --doctor--, and etc etc. Although we only spend time gaming thru the net(pathetically saying) and I have some of their contacts in my MSN *wink*, these whole bunch of people whom i call friends are just great, helpful, caring, funny, FUN, flirtatious( lolz ) --- It feels great to have known you all and maybe it makes me feel there's somewhere I belong in the name of Companions. Maybe that is why I stick to this guild for so long haha ( dd, sayang me more !!! wakakakaka )! There are dark sides of the game though, those jerks and bitches who took advantages on my friends and other players in the game --- well.... it is just so real that it is like a world inside, you'll meet different kinds of people -- scammers, rude asses, "angels" in disguise etc. It depends on how you see it, but I think I get to learn something from a game like this. And I cherish the friends I made -- sons and daughters of RO, I wont forget about the fun and sad times we've had and may the flower of friendship blossoms, always. Keep in touch ya ~!!

Right, long-winded of sentimental speech ( it's from the bottom of my heart though >.< ). Now back to "REAL REAL REAL" world which I'm gonna sit for 3 papers in the coming days : Mon, Wed and Sat. I'll do what I can and do my best. All the best to everyone who's gonna prepare themselves to the battlefield. Work hard and ...... gaming after that ( awww get a life !!! ) !!!!! wahahah!

Current mood : nothing much
Current music : Take Me Away - Avril Lavigne

.: Weird Dream :.

I had a "day"mare when I took a nap this afternoon. I could remember that Daniel was in there too. We were studying in the class . And all the students have a PC at their place except us. I don't know why we don't. Then, the weather changed out of a suddent. Wind began to blow, sky became darker, and there were flashes of lighting and thunder. My skin creeped. And suddenly the girl in front of me who slept in the class with her head on her arms, her arm was on fire. "poof!!!" , just like that. I pushed Daniel a bit and he realized that the girl's arm was on fire. Her friend who sat beside her saw that too and she screamed. The girl woke up and looked at her arm, maybe because she wasn't totally awake so she was like not realizing that she was burning. We stood up and I used my bottle of water to put out the fire. She got frightened finally and hugged her friend, sobbing. (weird).

And then, Daniel and I decided to walk out from the class, we were like needed to do something. He told me that he needed to find a friend who stayed nearby and passed something to him. So I went with him. When we reached to his friend's place, I found that the place was dark, windy and ..... my skin crawled again. ( I could really feel the freakiness though I was sleeping). He knocked on his friend's door and he went in, telling me to wait outside. They closed the door. My surrouding got even darker now. And I just felt something was not right. I dared not to look to the right nor to the left, praying hard that he would come out soon. And I sensed there was a flash of light on my right.. I struggled for quite a long time to decide whether to look to the right or not. When I finally wanted to do it and I turned my head............ I woke up. My heart was feeling uneasy. Maybe I didnt want to see what I'd see, so I woke up? I dont know.... Kinda freaky.. I am not good in describing/telling story so I dont know how you guys feel while reading this. But it was kinda scary, and of course, having a dream like that I didnt really get to rest my mind. So, was kinda blur when I woke up.

Watched Malaysian Idol on Sunday. Andrew was voted out in the result show. He left Vic to compete with Dina and Jac?!?!?! Not that I am mean but I think Vic would be beaten down. Both girls are just too strong. I would very much like to see Dina with her album coming out in the future. She can be "structured" to be a star. She got the voice and what she needs is experience and a make over, *wink* Way to go, DINA! And Jac, she is abosolutely amazing when she sings. Really. She has experience and the competition is too easy for her, I think. It is not surprise to finally know that she won. Good luck girls ~~~

Right, gotta stop torturing your eyes. :lolz: My buddy, Derrick's ( aka TZR) birthday is coming up -- 29th Sept. May all your wishes come true and keep your charming side continue to glow *wink*. Enjoy the new year ahead! Ciaoz for now fellas :wacko:

Current mood : nothing much
Current music : Let's Get It Started -- Black Eyed Peas

:.Complicated.:

Didnt blog for a few days .. seems like nothing much in my life is really exciting. There are a few things though which spiced up my boring life lately.

Firstly, let me think, what has been going on in my life in the past few days... OH YEAH! I gained weight. pif ! Must back to my exercise schedule now. Come to think about it, it's been really like.. 2-3 months I didnt do a constant exercise. No wonder I gained weight. hahahaha! was busy like crazy for completing projects and now I can schedule back to have myself sweating and heart pounding. Nice~ !

And, got to know that Derrick is back to RO. hahahah! So excited to know about that. He claimed that he's bored.. So I tempted him ( did I? ) to play RO with us. And yeah, he bought the CD; installed it; trained a Novice; and I'll be training him to help him turbo level up. It should be fun. lolz. I finally can have real friends playing the same game with me. COOLZ~~~ *wink*

Downloaded a few songs today. And i've got a friend to send me many songs too. Enjoyed them. Thanks for the songs ya, Henzz. Been using Skype to chat with this chad and the other RO friend, Liang, who's from Klang. Both were chatty and fun. Though there was lagging here and there, overall it was okay. I even use Skype to discuss assignment/project with coursemates, ain't that cool? Sometimes talk is way better than type coz talking can express better, in some circumstances; However, can't deny that sometimes, write express feelings better than talk. Agree?

Alright, stopped this for 2 hours or so to gaming with Derrick. Hahahah he's gonna be a leng chai character I'd say. Nice hairstyle and hair color! *wink* wah ~~~ come come couple with my mer lui -- soon to be BS leng lui! hehehehe. We go "tian mi mi" in pron city. hahahha!

Today got a complicated mood. Up and down. Maybe hormone imbalance? hahahhaha! anywayz, been listening to sentimental songs while writing this. Might as well tell you all what I'm listening to. ciaoz ~~ good night.

Current mood : undescribably weird
Current music : Timeless - Justin Guarini & Kelly Clarkson ( such a co-incidence it's this song again)

No title

Writing this in a sleepy mood. Dont know why, feeling kinda tired today. There is a good news of the semester this morning -- my OT project gets a "A". And each member got "A" grade too. Congratz Frankie, Tommy, Kek Voon and Kar Wai. Good job everyone ! Let's study hard for the coming OT exam so we can score a distinction ! Lolz. *yeah dreaming*

Went back home after the first class coz found that I might waste time staying at the college until the next class which is gonna be 3.30pm. Took my lunch at home. And I fell asleep on the table while listening to "Careless Whispers". It felt so nice to put your head onto your arms and just indulge into the song. The song brings you out from the reality.... Very nice. And Welcome Back to the world when it ended.

Then, dragged myself to attend the last class of the day. Boring as usual, but got a good laugh when Daniel and Chao Learn were challenging the origin of Hokkien. Chao Learn kept on saying he is the ORIGINAL Hokkien'ese and Daniel's is a "pirated product" lolz. And so they gave each other weird vocabs that are gonna crack each other's head to pronounce in Hokkien, such as lizard, lighting, giraffe etc. Hahaha! Well, anyone who's Hokkien'ese out there, wanna play this with Daniel sometimes? But you must be the ORIGIN Hokkien'ese !!! lolz !!!

And, ta-da~~ it was 5.00pm, time to go home. Dropped Daniel near to my house, as usual, and slowly drove back home. Took shower and chatted with a few friends. Played Bejeweled for a VERY LONG TIME coz i wanna break record to have 30k of score ! PIF ! But still, couldnt make it. lolz.

How's everyone's Wednesday? Time really flies, it's already the mid of the week. Tml gonna have intensive study schedule ! Good luck everyone !!

Current mood : numb
Current music : Anywhere - Evenescence

Monday

Hmmm for once I feel that Monday is actually okay. haha! I always dont like Monday. Losta excuses. The main point is: It is hard to accept the cruel reality of having to wait 4 more days before I can have my fav day of a week ( Fri ). Wahahaha ! Such lazy bones.

How's everyone's Monday? Doom day? I actually kinda enjoyed it today, coz crapped alotz with friends, and ya know what, I was SO noob when playing Gun Bound with Daniel, Yin Chew and Chao Learn. They invited me to play along coz lack of players to form 2 teams. I asked questions like "how do I shoot?", " how to adjust direction?", "press what for ...." etc. And I laughed till my eyes were teary while looking at myself bombing back my own team coz I just didnt know how to shoot brilliant! Laughed at my own stupidity. Wakakakakaa! Had a good time though :P Hey wait for me to brush up my skills then we challenge again!! pif !

Current mood: happy
Current music: Timeless - Justin Guarini & Kelly Clarkson

Song Bird

Do you remember the last time you sang? I do. It was like a few months back. And today I went to karaoke with my friends -- TZR, my mui Jenn, my babe Wendy, and jenn's friend, Xiao Li. It was supposed to be 7 person but ended up only 5 of us. It was okay though ( coz no people will wait for their turn to hold the mic :hehe:). I cough, and I coughed badly last night. Was worrying how am I gonna enjoy myself today ( besides that also make ppl enjoy listening to my sore voice, not that they ever enjoyed listening to my singing anywayz.. lolz ) . But it actually turned out to be okay. With my a bit of sore voice, I still could sing and it sounded a bit sensual hahahhaha!

We had a good time. Sang all sort of chinese songs. And shamelessly saying , I actually practised 1- 2 songs to sing *blush*. I seldom listen to chinese songs so I really need to first hear the songs before I could sing. Well it works that way, doesn't it? Hehe. Duet with TZR for a song and it turned out well. BRAVO ~~ haha! Kinda happy that I could sing that song. Hey derrick we sing that song again next time ya?

Last time I was a bit "pai seh" to sing coz I know i dont sing well, scared if i lose the tune and ppl laugh at me. Haha silly eh? Somehow I got bolder when I grew elder. So what if I lost the tune? Am not a "professional singer" anywayz ( er... do I remind you of Mr.William Hung ? ) !! I would have platinum records if I sing perfectly !!! pif ! haha. Anywayz, karaoke is meant for us to sing and just have fun whether or not you sing well or just.... torture ppl's ears. =P

How's ur Sunday? I enjoyed mine, hope you've had a good weekend too. Time flies, another week has come. Wish you all to have a wonderful week ahead. :)

Current mood: song bird
Current music: Ye Zi - Ah Sang

Happy ~~ Happy

Hi hi all, so how's everyone's Saturday? Mine is not bad. My relatives from Penang came visit us and would spend a night at my house, so I guess they are gonna sleep in my room tonight, and dear mom and dad, please dont lock the door if I dont go to bed at the same time as you two. bwahaha!

And about the books that I borrowed, one of them is useful, at least i can use for revision for my coming exam; the other one Palm OS Programming, well not to say not useful. Because I got some ideas of how i can write application using form in PDA by going thru it, but the sample codes are in C++.. and I am proposing using J2ME. Well, need BOOK !!!! lolz.

Listened to a friend's problem juz now -- yupe relationship problem. I would say, to this friend, world may seems rough to you, but you'll always have my support. So dont feel you're alone and helpless. I may be far apart from you, but you know I will always try my best to be there when you need or dont need me. *wink* will miss you while you're not around, so must take good care k.

Phew.. left this idle for about 5 hours coz went out for dinner and juz now was playing game. OK Continue now... Feeling kinda demotivated lately. Mind keeping telling I shouldn't be this lazy, but still.... haizzzz .. Everyone who's in the same class with me already started to feel abit panic because of FYP? Hmm me too. Yikes .... gotta work it !!! GOOD LUCK~~~

Current mood: as peaceful as pond
Current music: Belaian Jiwa -- Innuendo

Emotion roller coaster

Some people look okay during day time... cool, happy, cheerful; When night falls, the person whom you used to know suddenly just becomes emotionally weak, so weak that your heart aches how come he/she will become like that, you want to help so much, but not able to.

There are nights when I feel terribly lousy -- lonely. Want someone close to be around but knowing it is impossible considering the time and distance. And I feel so demotivated and helpless. My mind keeps telling me what I should and should not do; but my heart just acts like the devil pulling every piece of constructive and wise suggestion away from me. Pointing at me and laugh at my weak mind. Ended up I chose to drown myself into the pool of MP3s, and went to bed when I've had enough, and usually it is the repeat of the same song, again and again. Do I feel excellent again in the morning? Most of the time, yes. A little bit sleepy still, maybe because I dreamt at night thus I lack of quality sleep. But I couldn't recall the sweet dreams, only the nightmares....

Who knows a lil' bit of psychology? What is this illness called?

To those who experience the same thing, don't worry you're not the only one. Perhaps mine is not as bad as yours, but at least you're not the only one.

I finally read the books I borrowed. It is always the case where I borrow but never get to read. Lolz. Befriended the books coz you will never know how much you can get from them. Wakakakaka. Well I learned more about Relational Algebra, what do the Predicate, Cartesian Product, Join, Set Different and etc etc mean . Er... the question of whether or not what I know is enough for me to sit for the exam, it is too early to tell hahahaha ! Good luck everyone *wink*

Current mood: I "feel" hardworking
Current music: Tipsy - J-Kwan

A boring day

Woke up around 10am.. did house chores coz parents went back to Seremban this morning, then got my breakfast, then sat on my chair, doing nothing. And suddenly hate myself for being so lazy, yet i dont have the motivation to do the things i'm supposed to do.. haizz... LAZY!!!

Then, went to college at about 1++pm. Crapping with girlfriends, talked about anything, everything ! Went to DBMS class at 3.30pm..... trying to concentrate to what the lecture was trying to teach.. but my fellow babes were talking happily beside me .. lolz. Nah, am not complaining, dont hit me, love me plzzz hahahaha !!!!

And I got to meet with my fella, Derrick. ( we call him TZR ). So happy to see him, it's been a long time since we last met. TZR, you still look charming, but try to get more sleep k? I can see the exhaustion from your face. Let's sing our lungs out this coming Sunday k !

Am coughing.. hmph... shouldn't have eaten fruits juz now, but I miss them very muchie ~~~ lolz... cough till my lungs drop ar dont care liao !!! hahahaha (perhaps dont cough so long lor, I wanna sing on Sunday..... =P)

Borrowed 2 books from Library today -- DATABASE SYSTEMS and Palm OS Programming Bible. I wanna use the times now and over the weekend to read thru them and do some revision and catching up for my DBMS lectures. SO, lazy bug, go away from me now ! (lolz)

Current mood: peaceful
Current music: Qi Li Xiang -- Jay Chow

I'm Blessed

Looking at the comments that my friends gave, I really felt like hugging them one by one. Sometimes I feel so alone and helpless when I'm troubled, perhaps I should learn to tell and share out with the people who love me coz you never know how much you're loved if you dont reach out. And perhaps you'll be hugged tightly by all the people around you if you just ask "Hug me?" *wink*

I'm blessed.

Didnt blog last night -- I forgot to. Hahahaaa :swt: Didnt do much yesterday -- a very boring day. Ended up I slept, and told myself u know, "I need more rest coz I've not been having any in the past 2 weeks". But the more I slept the more tired I felt.. So I went to bed kinda early last night too. But before that I've got some friends to chat with, just crapping around and share some thoughts, which was nice.

Hmmm .. To all the friends I know, you know who you are, thank you for everything. I love you all. mwahs mwahs ~~~ =P

Current mood: Touched
Current music: My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne

Tell the ppl you love that you love them

She left without saying goodbye.

I nvr get to ask "aunty, u feel better lately?"

She was a very optimistic person. She always laughs, though life nvr seems to be any easier day by day for her. Everytime my mom calls her, she still speaks with a smile in her tone "dai sou, I'm ok, feel better, can eat, can sleep." And then we know she wont get to stand long when she finally told my mom "dai sou, I'm not fine...." in the last call my mom made. My heart ached everytime I heard that her condition went worse; and I'd say to myself "yes, keep fighting aunty" when I hear that she got better..... but I never show it, you know what I mean... bring into action..

I thought i wouldn't shed a tear because our relationship isn't so close, though I know she loves me and my bro dearly. When I looked at her picture, my heart ached so much and I whispered to her, so hoped that she could still hear me "aunty, I"m sorry I didnt spend time to care about you. And now it is too late".

I am regret.

Life is fragile; and it is very short indeed. We will never get to see what happens next which will change the rest of our life, or the rest of the lives of the ppl around us. Everytime you hear ppl saying "cherish the ppl around you, you wouldn't know when you will lose them" It bang me on the head real hard juz now.

Aunty, I'll miss you.

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The presentations today were fine. We didnt get to be "bombed" real bad by both the lecturers. They were satisfied and SO WERE WE. Bravo to all the group members: HCI - Dan, Wendy,Ted, Leela and Ahmed ; OT - Frankie, Tommy, Kar Wai and Kek Voon. Nice working with you all and Good Luck in the coming exam and FYP.

Current mood : undescribable.
Current music : Melody --- David Tao

lazy Sunday

Woke up kinda late this morning. Been screwed by mom last nite coz she "happened" to find out that I was still hammering my keyboard around 2++am ? I wonder what made her so mad? It is not that I wasn' gonna sleep ? What didn't she say anything about my bro? >.< *well maybe I should really get myself some "proper" rest*

Well, time flies and before you know it, tomorrow is gonna be Monday again and YES, a start of a week; YES worse, doom day; YES worst, 2 presentations awaiting me. I've got a presentation scheduled at 12noon, and another at 4pm. What a LONG BREAK~~. hmm wonder what am I gonna do in between the hours. See, well I shall go find something helpful for my FYP, or exam.

Downloaded couple of songs juz now: -
"Kau tahu betapa ku sayang pada mu,

hanya bidadari sebagai ganti,

Hanya takdir menentukan ia,

Oh, belaian jiwa"

Sound familiar ? yeah, heard it from an advertisement juz now while watching Malaysian Idol. And I straight rushed back to my chair and start searching. Miss it. And then I downloaded more and more lolz. Abt the show, I would have to say that everyone is getting better and better:-

Jac was incredible, I think she can handle ANY type of song so well;

Nikki has the talent, she needs to choose songs well though, I 'see' the shadow of Beyonce Knowles on her, she likes her much I guess;

Dina, wow she ROCKED indeed !!! I wouldn't suspect that she is actually a competitor if I never know this is Malaysian Idol!

Andrew --- er... when I look at him, I see tree trunk. LOLZ !!! Maybe he needs to lose himself on the stage and let it all out.

Vick -- he can sing R&B quite well, and eh, he kinda likes Craig David huh? But his performance of "Numb" ain't bad at all.

Saiful -- er.. I dont know why but I think he is sissy?!?!?!

Did I miss out anyone? I had a great time watching the show. At least everyone can sing. And the performance by VE was great : "Party Like This". Not bad at all. And I really hope Dina's votes are gonna sky rocket for this time !

Hmmm... a long post. Sorry for making your eyes sore, fellas. I'm having sore throat. Scared me for a sec when this morning I kinda lost my voice. I hope it'll get better soon. WAter Water Water !!